Gentleman Prefer Blondes
by Crazy-Comet-97
Summary: Straight !crackfic, pure and unadulterated. The idea was taken from Mini's latest video (/watch?v IoeCBuNg Zc) where he ran Ty's image through an app on his phone and he turned out to look like Marilyn Monroe, a famous (and beautiful) film star.


For all his life, Ty Widdas has only been nervous once or twice.

Tonight however, seems to be the most nervous he's ever been at all, as he looks at himself in the bathroom mirror.

Of course, he shows that this bathroom mirror is different from his own back home in his apartment in Ireland 5,118 miles away, but his boyfriend Craig's isn't the worst. In fact, it's much better by leaps than his, as it's not as big, but unfortunately, more revealing than he would care to like.

That fact didn't help however with his current thought trip as he stared at himself.

This was a stupid idea, such a stupid idea, but he guessed that if he could get a laugh out of Craig, it would be worth it. Craig loved taking the joke to the furthest it could go, he had fallen in love with that quality when he'd started editing his videos, before their long-distance friendship became a full-blown relationship.

The travel miles may have been taxing on both, but in the end, it was worth it.

Currently, Ty had just flown in from Ireland on a week-long surprise vacation and took the liberty of not informing Craig so he could surprise him (and the dogs of course) at his LA home. When he had arrived, he'd found Orion and Yui (who fell over another in excitement at seeing him), but the house was unfortunately sans Craig.

Looking on the fridge after putting his belongings away, he shook his head with a grin as he saw Craig's schedule for the day. Seems he was busy till at least the evening.

Well, looks like it's just him and the pups for the afternoon.

Thankfully, Craig's house might be large and impressive compared to his dwellings, but at least it isn't boring as most. He always seems to find a way to pass the time in LA, despite being alone and feeling a phantom arm around his shoulder every so often feather light kisses on his neck and cheeks when his thoughts run away.

He takes Yui and Orion for a walk/run, does a few laps in the pool, watches TV, uses the big screen in the living room to edit some of Craig's videos, feeds the dogs their dinner, but can't decide what to get from himself and resides to wait until Craig gets back, as he'll either be paying for it or take him out to a restaurant (both of which he hates, but Craig insists on doing despite his protests).

Just as he's about to settle into the couch crease to wait on Craig to arrive home, an idea slithers into his head. He was planning on saving it for alter, maybe for a video or a private moment or something and now, he's here, an hour later in front of the mirror, flushed and nervous.

Adjusting himself in the mirror one last time and checking everything was as perfect as he could possibly get it, a familiar sound reaches his ears and he jumps hearing a car pull up in the driveway and rushes (somehow) downstairs to drape himself in the perfect place, hearing footsteps before he hears Craig's keys jingle as they unlock the front door.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spies the dogs dashing to him from the couch, but nothing can prepare him for when Craig rounds the corner into the kitchen…and stops dead in his tracks, everything in his hands dropping to the floor below.

Thankfully, before he looks at Craig's face, he can see nothing is breakable.

Craig's face is a picture of stunned, awed shock. Ty really doesn't see exactly why, but he guessed if anyone he knew came home to a man draped over a kitchen island in a long white V-neck dress, earrings, makeup and heels, maybe they would have that look as well.

Painted red lips smirking, Ty bats his eyelashes (or he tries really) before looking away at the wall, pretending to be uninterested in Craig's presence, slipping off the counter with unpracticed, but rather ethereal ease.

He's not used to the heels very much as he walks in them, but he carries himself as best as he can anyway, feeling Craig's eyes on him as he strides though the living room towards the front door.

As he is about to open it and 'pretend' to go outside, there is a rush and suddenly, there is a body behind him, hand clamped over his own on the door knob and heavy breathing in his ear.

Smirking with a chuckle and inhaling the scent of LA's toxic air from the crack of the door that's already wide open, he takes a long nail away from the metal of the door handle and traces a line down Craig's thumb to the back of his and, over his knuckles and down to his wrist.

Well, that was the intention at least, until Craig forcibly grabs him back the hips and pins him up against the door, slamming it shut while Craig's lips kiss his chin and neck aggressively, making him speechless when Craig's eyes meet his and he finds them darker than he's ever seen them.

"You…" Craig starts, eyes roaming him all over and making him feel flushed again. "…are not allowed to leave the house looking like that."

Ty doesn't know what comes over him during the exchange, but can't help but ask with a smirk, same dark eyes now reflecting Craig's. "Why?"

"Because-" Craig pulls him against his body violently, which he's surprised by given the problems his boyfriend has with his body parts. "-when I'm done with you, you won't be able to say your name to introduce yourself to anyone."

Shit.

Ty's mouth starts to fall open, but it's stopped by Craig flinging him over his shoulder and starting to carry him upstairs towards his bedroom.

Let's just say he didn't get dinner, but he damn sure well enjoyed the dessert.


End file.
